Dear Diary,
Here is an excerpt from my novel that was recently published this past June:
My mind seemed to turn off and my body moved by its’ own accord to open the door and walk inside. I stood in the middle of the foyer and tried to collect my thoughts. I knew I had been instructed on where to meet in the event of the ship’s sinking. I had not been paying particular attention to this information because I had believed the Titanic to be unsinkable. Quick action was required, but I needed to figure out where to dash off to and stop standing motionless in the middle of the foyer like a simpleton. I could feel panic burbling from the tips of my toes, thrashing in my guts and squeezing my chest. I was very aware of my heart beating rapidly. Panic was a foreign emotion to me. It hit me like a brick wall and seemed to immobilize my limbs. Then, I thought of Jackson. I needed to be sure of Jackson’s safety. Oh, dear God, protect my child! If anything were to happen to him…I couldn’t even let my mind go there. My mind and body seemed suddenly connected with purpose and I bolted to the stairwell.
As I clambered down the narrow stairwell I was greeted by a deluge of third class passengers trying to come up. By the time I made it to the foot of the stairs the corridor before me was filling quickly with a glut of milling and frightened families. The sleepy, crying children wrenched jaggedly at my heart. I could see Jackson in every face. As I rounded each corner I hoped against hope that I would see his crazy, curly head bob into view. Surely Jane would get the children up and out right away? What if they were all still asleep? I pressed on with my mission to locate their room, but I was getting confused coming from this direction. It became apparent to me that I was not going to be able to navigate my way to Jane’s room due to the budding chaos in the hallways and my unfamiliarity with this end of the ship. I decided that it might be better for me to go up and come back down using the route that I was familiar with. I spun on my heel and joined the rapidly increasing exodus up the stairs. I was so grateful to finally reach the top. The stale air down there was giving me a headache. The foyer area was starting to fill with people now as well. On every face I saw varying degrees of panic. I vaguely wondered what my own face looked like. My thoughts were scattered again. I was fervently trying to figure the most efficient way to get to Jane’s berth in order to scoop up my son. My arms ached to hold him and bring him to safety. I struggled to think clearly. I would have gladly slapped myself upside the head if I thought that would juggle my thoughts back together. Even at the best of times I was not good with directions.
“Please,” a timid voice cut through the increasing din surrounding me, “are we to go to the lifeboats?” I turned to my left and found a pale and fragile looking young woman holding the hands of what appeared to be her daughters. The younger girl was sobbing so hard that she was hiccupping, while the older one looked as though her face would burst with the effort of holding back her tears. The woman’s face was strained and tight and her voice trembled as she spoke politely to me. “Would you please tell us where to go? Please, miss?”
“Yes,” I answered immediately and matter-of-factly. “Follow me.” I offered my hand to the older girl. She took it gratefully. My small gesture seemed to send a cascade of relief over her pinched face. She even smiled a little. I grabbed her hand with purpose and the four of us began to wind our way through the thickening throng up to the deck. After I saw this trio safely to a lifeboat I would cross over to the other side of the ship to where I would be more able to get my bearings. I thought of Violet. Of course she would be doing exactly what she needed to be doing in this situation. Violet was always able to take care of herself and others with poise and aplomb. I could even imagine her managing a lifeboat herself. As we entered the deck area the cold once again slapped me hard, but this time I had no time or concern for it. Up ahead I saw a lifeboat being readied to lower. I squeezed the girl’s hand tighter and guided the family firmly through the confusion. A sudden, thunder-like bang stopped me dead in my tracks for a moment as I searched for its’ source. I soon discovered that a distress rocket had been fired. It was fascinatingly lovely in the star sparkled sky. There was a collective pause as everyone on deck stared at the brilliant spectacle that meant disaster.
The above was an excerpt from my novel “The One That Got Away”. It is available in all formats on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, http://kelliannesweeney.webs.com/ as well as other favorite online bookstores. I am currently working on writing the sequel “Strangers’ Angels”.
I would also like to make a proposal. I want to start something that I will call “Teaser Train”. Once a month I would like to post an approximately 800 word count Teaser (excerpt) from another novel on my blog in exchange for the author agreeing to post my Teaser on their blog. We should use the term “Teaser Train” when promoting to try to create a buzz. I would also encourage you to do this between other authors as well if you can get their interest. Please let me know if you would like to ‘trade’ Teasers with me. Thanks!
Comments on: "Teaser for “The One That Got Away”" (9)
A Titanic story? Interesting. Sounds like you have a strong female narrator. 🙂
🙂 Gotta have those tough girls!
Hi Kelly
Great teaser
put more up soon
Thank you Valerie. Glad you liked. 🙂
I think that you’ve addressed, here, one of my biggest concerns with Titanic, the movie, I hated the writing. The director recreated the ship and made us feel like we were aboard, but the lead characters were paper thin and unbelievable. I would relish the opportunity to read a fictionalized account which is much more compelling and true to the period! Did you, by any chance, do a deep dive on Titanic research or catch the Titanic museum tour (which hit the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago–I loved it).
Thank you for your thoughtful comments. I have been reading and researching about Titanic since I was a kid. I did some more specific research recently for my book. I’m happy that you felt my character seemed real after reading only a short portion of my book! I have not seen that tour, but I must!
This really caught my interest… another book for my “to-read” list. And the Teaser Train idea sounds great! If I ever get anything When I get my novel finished I will let you know, for sure!
I am so glad that you found the excerpt interesting Rob! Your comments are always so encouraging. Finish your novel so you can play TeaserTrain 🙂
The book sounds great ! I’m going to have to get it from Amazon. BTW….. I think your idea for a “teaser train” is terrific. I would gladly publish but don’t have a blog. I love the written word and have always been an avid reader. I would love to be able to write. Unfortunately, ideas and words don’t come easily to me. I sure am glad they do for some though!