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A Friend By Any Other Name

Dear Diary,

Your voice has never caressed my ear. My hand has never touched your sleeve. I have never had the opportunity to share a physical cup of coffee and an audible laugh with you. I have not really seen your face; the array of expressions that flow in the course of a conversation. I have only seen a frozen image chosen by you.

But I hear your words in my mind as they spill across the screen. Tidbits of your reality sent through space. Thoughts that you may not actually say if we were seated together in a café. You deftly manipulate the letters to speak your personality. You endear yourself to me with your humor, philosophies, creativity, advice, hopes and everyday happenstances. As I do to you. All within the world of adjusting letters.

It amazes me to think that I have developed cherished friendships with people that I have never met in actuality. Twitter has done this. What started to me as purely a marketing tool has garnered me a surprising and wonderful byproduct; more friends. I had expected to get along fine with the people of TwitterLand but I wasn’t expecting in depth friendships. That is what I have ended up with and I appreciate every one of you. Your jokes make me laugh, your philosophies make me think, your creativity inspires me, your advice helps me, your hopes are tangible, and your life happenings relate to my own. Your blog gives me perhaps more insight into you than if we interacted in person.

Some people would argue that cyberfriends are not real friends. I disagree. You are all real people living real lives somewhere that is real. You are not pretend like a character in one of my stories. Our friendship is merely on a different plane. Perhaps there is a dash of fantasy thrown in, but what’s wrong with that?  A definition of friendship is “A person attached to another person by feelings of affection or personal regard”. Yes. You are my friends and I am happy for that. And so, cheers to you! *Raises coffee cup in tribute*

Strangers’ Angels

Dear Diary,

Most of you are aware that in June I published my first novel “The One That Got Away”. It is a fictional story whose premise is that reincarnation, ghosts and Heaven are all somehow connected in the big picture. The story is told through the journal of a modern day single mother who feels she has more important things to deal with than these notions that she is ultimately forced to believe. More information about this book can be found here: http://kelliannesweeney.webs.com/ .   My WIP (Work In Progress) is the sequel to this story. Today, I am giving you a teaser for that sequel entitled “Strangers’ Angels”. I hope you enjoy your taste.

Strangers’ Angels:

From a corner of her mind, Anna heard a footfall and a sound like something sliding across a table. Viv was back? Clarice growled low and quietly. It wasn’t her usual cocky, protective growl. It seemed a bit fearful. Anna’s scalp prickled. The tingling sensation crept down her back and traveled to her forearms, resulting in goose-bumps. Anna lay still for several impossibly long minutes while she strained her ears for any additional sounds. There was none. If it had been Viv, or even an intruder, there would have been more noises. Anna had not heard the front door open or close. She didn’t hear any more footsteps. Had Viv come home while Anna had been sleeping? Were the stray sounds coming from the apartment upstairs? Something did not feel right to Anna. She knew she would have to go into the living room to see for herself. The cold chill ran back up her spine and tickled her scalp again as she slowly and quietly sat up in bed and carefully extracted herself from her tousled blankets. She touched her feet to the floor and waited another moment, listening intently. Nothing. She flexed her toes on the smooth, cool wood and took in a steadying breath. She exhaled and stood quickly. The floor groaned in protest. Anna paused. She thought she heard an urgent whisper, but she couldn’t tell if it was in her own mind or outside of her head. She listened again, but did not hear a thing. Even Clarice was quiet. Anna tiptoed to her bedroom door, tightening the drawstring on her cotton pajama pants as she went. She placed her hand gingerly on the doorknob and cautiously began to turn it.

A sudden noise caused Anna to release the knob and jump a step backwards. A dropping sound. Something hitting the floor in the living room. Clarice yelped once and then became silent. Was Clarice out there? No. Anna became increasingly sure that it was a stranded spirit, a ghost of a person, not a living person. She became aware of the telltale whispers inside of her head. But the whispers were garbled. It was as though more than one person was speaking, or perhaps several. Anna had never encountered this before. It was also unusual for a stranded spirit to be in her apartment. She had lived in the same apartment for almost two years with nary a peep from the spirit world on the premises. Some living people had a stranded spirit that followed them because of an important link. Most people that had one were not aware of their existence, but there were some that seemed to sense their presence. If the spirits were benevolent in nature, they were sometimes referred to as Guardian Angels by their living objects of attention. During her life, Anna’s mother had one of those, but this was not the case with Anna herself. Very unusual indeed. Who was out there and why?

Anna gripped the doorknob firmly, twisted, and pushed the door open. The frigid air and a staggering sense of fear washed over Anna causing her to gasp involuntarily at the intensity of it. She quickly regained her composure and rubbed her arms vigorously in an unsuccessful attempt to rid herself of the cold. She scanned the room, but could see no one.

“Hello?” She called quietly. “Who is here?”

Anna took two more steps into the room and inadvertently kicked something that was on the floor. The filtered moonlight glinted off of the shiny object at her feet.

Dreams Of Napping

Dear Diary,

Napping is fun. My children would always snicker and scoff when I would say such a thing. But I really wish someone would send me to my room and tell me to go take a nap. Especially when I am grumpy and whiny and my eyes are doing that droopy thing. If you asked my Kindergarten classes what is Mrs. Kelli’s favorite thing to do they would pipe up quite readily with the answer: take a nap. Once, I actually had a student offer to watch the class for me so I could put my head down on my desk and take a snoozer. (Well, no, I couldn’t accept his gift, but it was a lovely gesture.)

Napping is a decadent and luxurious exit from a busy day that creates extra energy to conquer the rest of those things on your plate with aplomb and vigor. It is an excellent attitude adjuster. Sometimes I even wake up with new ideas! Do I get many of these treats? No. Do I daydream about them? Yes.

Most of the time my day is too packed to squeeze a nap in. I have to plan my naps carefully because a Thwarted Nap is worse than no nap at all. A Thwarted Nap can cause Monster Attitude. This development is best to be avoided for all involved. If I think the odds are stacked against a successful napping experience, it is best to just grab an energy drink and trudge napless through the rest of my day.

Aside from my busy schedule, I also have to deal with the Antinapping Ninja, which would be my four year old daughter. Napping has been off of her list of things to do for forever now. But the hatred is still fresh. The mere mention of the word brings fire to her eyes and angry hisses from her lips. I have given up battling to get her to take a nap, but I will still battle to get mine. Occasionally, I can grab a quickie nap while she is in PreKindergarten, but this is a dilemma because this is also the only time in the day that I am alone and able to do things without my four year old shadow. Sometimes I try to swing a nap on the weekend if I have reinforcements. I will tell her that I am going to ‘lay down’. It is best not to use the ‘N word’. I tell her that Daddy and her older sister are capable to help her with any need that arises. Then I attempt to nap. My door will be opened by the Antinapping Ninja for any number of reasons. Here are some examples: “Mommy, I’m hungry.” “Mommy, Tony stuck his tongue out at me.” “Mommy, can you put this dress on my Barbie?” “Mommy, the puppy pooped on the floor.” This causes Monster Attitude to appear.

Yesterday was a Teacher Workday so all of the kids were home as well as my husband. I determined that I would wrestle a nap out of the day. I was very firm with my ninja. I told her that she was not allowed to open my door for any reason whatsoever or I would be mad. I reiterated to her that Daddy and her sister were extremely qualified to administer food, control her brother, adorn Barbies and clean poop. All seemed well at first. As I was drifting into la-la land nestled comfortably in my fluffy comforter and plethora of pillows I heard her walk up to my door, but not open it. Good. I continued into the blissful spiral of sleep. I succumbed. Then I was rudely awakened by wails of utter despair. My daughter was outside my door, face in the carpet sobbing: “I want my Mommy!” My whole body tensed as I waited to see if she would just get over it and go away. She did not. I opened the door and let my little ninja enter my room. I told her that her choice was to go play or take a nap with me. To my surprise, she chose the latter. She snuggled in with me and fell asleep almost instantly. I was wide awake. Sigh. Another nap thwarted.

Silence Falls

Dear Diary,

A brief poem today:

 

Silence Falls

and I listen

for it to break.

 

I strain to hear

Something.

What will it be?

A passing car?

A moan from the house as it settles?

A stray bark from a faraway dog?

The furnace whirring into action?

The lonely call of a mourning dove?

 

I still my breathing, not wanting it

to be the sound that shatters

the thick, delicious silence

that surrounds me.

 

How unusual to be enveloped in complete

Silence.

My world is full of constant motion

and vibrant sound.

 

I breathe soundlessly.

I wait.

 

A motorcycle roars by on the street below.

The pause evaporates.

Kidney Keeper

Dear Diary,

I was going to donate a kidney. I was ready and determined to be brave. This is from someone who gets frightened about having a cavity filled. This is from someone who cried during two amniocentesis procedures. This is from someone who has never been subjected to any surgery thus far and has been glad because she is afraid that she would act like a big baby about it.But I was willing to put on my Big Girl Panties and give one of my kidneys to someone that I don’t know who desperately needs it. By doing this I would be guaranteeing that someone close to me that also desperately needs a kidney would get one. This person that I am referring to suffers from a rare disease that eventually destroys the kidneys. His brother died from it. Most likely his grandfather died from it but there is no documentation. His children could develop it but cannot be tested until they are older. I knew his brother and saw the heartbreaking results of this disease. Now I am watching the disease slowly take its’ toll on him regardless of the preventative measures that have been administered. I love him, I love his wife and I love his children. So, I stepped up without being asked to do such a thing. Of course they were grateful for the gift I wanted to give and I was happy with my decision. However, I am not the correct blood type so I would need to donate to someone else in order for him to be eligible to receive his own in short order. It’s pretty cool that they allow you to trade.

I completed all of the testing that was required to determine my fitness to give away a kidney. The tests showed that I was in perfect health…except for my kidneys. One kidney is little and the other one has at least three stones. Just one of those reasons is enough to boot me out of the Kidney Giving Club. I would have to keep both of my challenged kidneys. As far as my own health, it’s okay for me to carry on in my condition since I have two kidneys and they can help each other out. I’ve heard that passing kidney stones is awful but there’s nothing to be done to make them go away or reduce them. Hopefully, they will just hang tight where they are instead of trying to squeeze through a tube that is clearly too small for them to venture without difficulty. The doctor’s advice? Drink much water. This does not fix the problem but can help prevent the stones from growing or adding new friends. This may be how I ended up with these unwanted guests in the first place. I do not like water. But regardless of this fact I will now become a prolific water guzzler.

I was surprised at how very disappointed that I was at being prevented from giving this gift. After all, I was off the hook through no fault of my own. This fraidy cat did not have to face surgery. However, I had been pumped up and ready to face the challenge. I wanted to be instrumental in providing hope and improved life chances for two people. But that challenge will need to go to another person and my role will have to transform into support and creating awareness of live organ donation. There is another person in our case that has a good chance of qualifying to be the donor. Hopefully, he will be able to see this through.

I have to say that I was very impressed with the live donor program. I was amazed at the amount of care and information that was given. And the entire medical process is free for the donor. Studies show that people living with one good kidney (not including transplant recipients) are just as healthy as the next guy living with two. Another surprising bonus is that if you are a kidney donor and for some reason your remaining kidney fails, you get another kidney right away! Kidney Insurance! How about that?

In closing, I hope that if you are ever in a situation where your kidney could save someone’s life that you would strongly consider donating. At the very least, please mark the box on your Driver’s License that indicates that you are willing to be an organ donor after you are done using them. There are people waiting for years on a very long list for the hope of life that you can give.

I wish you all excellent health and kidneys that are not subpar. Remember, drink lots of water. You don’t need a “rockin” party in your kidney too.

#TeaserTrain Interview at Ashley’s Place

Ashley Barron has decided to interview all of the #TeaserTrain authors and it’s my turn! Jump on the train over to Ashley’s Blog to for her interview with me and other fantastic authors. Continue to check back on her blog in the future for more of our #TeaserTrain authors. All Aboard! http://blog.thepriyas.com/2012/01/09/author-interview-kellianne-sweeney.aspx

Supersonic #TeaserTrain Event, BUY 3 – GET 1 FREE, Thursday, Feb 2nd – Friday, Feb 3rd, 2012

CLICK HERE http://www.womensliterarycafe.com/content/books/supersonic-teaser-train

Visual Clarity

Dear Diary,

“Visual Clarity” is a definition of the word Resolution. Of course you are thinking that this refers to the crispness of images on big screen televisions and photographs. I am sure that is what Webster intended when sighting this definition. However, I like to think of Visual Clarity in a different way.

I have never made any official New Year’s Resolutions. It always seemed to me as too much of a Band Wagon Thing. When someone is on a band wagon their focus is not upon being determined about something, it is about doing something because everyone else is doing it. How many people really stick to resolutions made in this way? Not many, I think. A resolution should be made within the quiet of your own being. It should be made because you are determined that it must be done. “Determination” is one of the definitions of resolution. A resolution requires stamina and a sense of purpose because another part of the definition is “Outcome”. If there is no outcome, it is not a true resolution.  Our lives should be full of resolutions that are made all year long. These resolutions require determination to produce real outcomes.  When you pick something about you or your life that needs to be changed, be serious about obtaining that goal. And make sure that goal is worthy, because this is Life Improvement we are talking about. It is about growing and not stagnating or sliding backwards.

Many New Year’s Resolutions only involve self improvement. I challenge you to also include resolving to improve life quality around you. We do not live in a bubble. What we do effects others, and what others do effects us. Including others in our resolutions makes a better life environment for us all. There is so much hate and injustice in the world. Defy it by being just one person to lead by example to resolve to give some kindness. Hopefully, this might create a ripple that others will continue.

Today, when I read that Visual Clarity was a definition for the word Resolution, I chose to interpret its’ meaning as being visually clear of the Big Picture; of having the vision to see how each of our resolutions can effect the Big Picture where we all dwell together. Our resolutions can make the Big Picture better if we see that.

The beginning of the New Year is a good time to assess where you have been, where you want to go and the goals you would like to obtain to further yourself and others. But don’t make your resolutions lightly just so you look better in your bikini or Speedo. Think bigger and proceed with determination to your desired outcome.  Happy New Year!

#TeaserTrain: My Romantic Excerpt on @SBuchbinder’s Blog

I am guest blogging over at Sharon Buchbinder’s blog today for #TeaserTrain. An excerpt from Sharon’s novel “Desire and Deception” was on my blog a couple of weeks ago. #Teasertrain is a vehicle for authors to share each other’s excerpts from their novels to reach a wider audience. Sharon is an award winning erotica novelist so I thought I should use one of my romance scenes from my novel for my visit over there. Of course my excerpt is very tame compared to Sharon’s sizzling style, but I hope  you enjoy the diversion. I also hope that you check out Sharon’s books if you are in the mood for something a little more intense.

My excerpt from “The One That Got Away” can be found on Sharon’s blog here: http://sharonbuchbinder.com/blog/2011/12/28/kellianne-sweeney-author-of-the-one-that-got-away/

Supersonic #TeaserTrain Event, BUY 3 – GET 1 FREE, Thursday, Feb 2nd – Friday, Feb 3rd, 2012

CLICK HERE http://www.womensliterarycafe.com/content/books/supersonic-teaser-train

Secret Agent Gals

Dear Diary,

I clenched my thoughts tightly to keep focused on the goal and away from the cold fear. All was in order. The plans had been laid carefully. The amount of time and death that it had taken to come to this point was staggering. I prayed for the success of the mission. We must not fail. Too much was at stake.

I touched my inner pocket to assure myself that the device was still there. I breathed a sigh of relief. It was indeed safely sewn into my vest. I was still amazed and grateful that it had never been found during the years we had been subjected to residing in the squalor.

I had met Krystal there. We endured the trials of our detainment and stayed sharp. We planned our escape and subsequent rescue mission carefully while the weaker ones around us perished. Our only comfort was that we would eventually put an end to the suffering. I would never forget the vivid images of the faces of those who had been lost. It stabbed my heart that I had been helpless to save them. But we would save the others. We had successfully rounded up the youngest ones in a safe haven until we could complete their extraction from this horrible existence.

I crept silently down the darkened corridor. Vague blue lighting from an unknown source provided dim vision. I approached the unremarkable metal door and tapped a coded series of knocks. I waited for it to open.

Krystal’s face appeared in the small opening that she allowed to assure herself of my identity. Upon seeing my face, she opened it wider. She was dressed in smart, black, professional attire, as was I. It was a far departure from our normal shabby clothing.

“All is well with the children?” I whispered.

Krystal nodded and gestured toward the large group of gnome-like faces gathered about the room. The blue glow shone dimly on their thin and dirty features. Not even the smallest one uttered a sound. They all knew the gravity of the situation.

“Good. Let’s go.”

Krystal stepped away to address the two women that we were leaving in charge of the children. After quietly spoken last minute instructions, she slipped out of the door and closed it quietly. We could hear the latch from the inside grinding into place.

We regarded each other and silently traded fortitude for a moment before Krystal uttered the barely perceptible words: “Let’s do it.”

We began our course through the twisting labyrinth of underground tunnels. We had no need for a map. We had memorized our path. Presently, we reached the door to the control center. After checking each other’s appearance one last time, we entered the hub of activity with briskness and poise. The contrast in lighting was a shock. It was difficult not to blink and squint in the extreme brightness. The immediate goal was to march through the center and out the front door without attracting attention. Corporate activity bustled all around us as we purposefully made our way through the immense room.

“You there!”

A heavy set woman with burnt orange hair stepped in front of me to halt my progress. Her full lips were coated with lipstick a shade darker than her hair. Her painted on eyebrows were of the same hue. She adjusted her black rimmed glasses on her nose and spoke again.

“Let me see your latest report.”

“Of course, Ms. Trodeau,” I replied without hesitation. I opened the leather file that I carried and shuffled through the pages therein to locate the appropriate paperwork. A few sheets escaped my fingers and fluttered to the floor. I tried to laugh casually as I stooped to retrieve the errant papers.

“Ma’am,” Krystal interjected, “I believe I have the report you are looking for.”

“Very good, then,” the woman scowled as she spoke. “Let me see it.”

I woke up suddenly and looked at the clock. I immediately jumped out of bed. I had been dreaming so hard that I had overslept. My mind wandered over my dream as I brushed my teeth. I hurried downstairs, started my laptop, set the coffee brewing and fed the dogs. Then I sat down at my computer and logged into twitter. I found my #coffeeclub  friends and typed next to Krystal’s name: “Hey I dreamed we were Secret  Agents!”

What a fun way to start my day! True story!

**My Gal Pal Krystal Wade also blogs. Check out her good stuff over here==> http://krystalwade.blogspot.com/

Where’s The Baby?

Dear Diary,

I have owned an Advent calendar for about twenty years. I bought it when my oldest children were toddlers. It is very kid-friendly. It is made of colorful cloth and has a large Christmas tree at the top and below there are numbered pockets for the friendly, puffy characters of Christmas to reside in before they are placed on the Christmas tree by way of their Velcro laden backs. It has always been the highlight of the parade of days leading up to Christmas for all six of my children. Tony 7, and Sabrina 5, are the latest of my children to be enamored with the Advent calendar. When I bring out the Christmas boxes it is the first thing to be searched for and retrieved.

This year when I was sorting through the other Christmas decorations, Sabrina was sitting on the floor happily playing with the figures from the Advent calendar. At one point she stopped and looked perplexed.

“Mommy, where’s the baby?”

“Not again!” was my despairing cry.

Baby Jesus had gone missing again. I could never understand how the only Christmas decoration that ever seemed to disappear was baby Jesus. Everything else stayed safely packed in the designated Christmas boxes and waited patiently for almost a year before they were unpacked again. They would always be there year after year, except baby Jesus. This did not happen every year, but it has happened often enough to be a disturbing trend. How can you have an Advent calendar without baby Jesus? Or a nativity scene for that matter?  One year our Nativity scene baby Jesus was a no-show. I ended up buying a replacement. I could not find the same brand, but the new baby Jesus seems to blend in fine and fits nicely in the cradle.

The funniest place that I found our calendar baby Jesus was in the refrigerator months later. (This is not your cue to make snide comments about how long it takes me to deep clean my refrigerator.) One of my kids as a four year old had placed him there for some reason that neither he nor I can fathom. Luckily, that year my mother was on hand and sewed us the most adorable replacement baby Jesus. After we found the refrigerator stowaway we actually had two baby Jesuses for a few years. Some years he is right where he should be. Other years he somehow gets mixed in with the wrong crowd of decorations.

This year he is missing again. Our house is decorated with Christmas festiveness, but I will need to go get back into those boxes and search harder through the rejected and extra pieces of Christmas cheer contained therein.  This is because baby Jesus is the most important part of Christmas, or our lives, for that matter. Much of the time he is in the midst of our festive and sparkling life decorations. But if he is not there, the other ornaments lose their brightness and he is surely missed. If he turns up missing, it’s time to go search those mental boxes and find him and put him back in the center of your Life Celebration where he belongs. Surely he does you no good being stuck in the proverbial refrigerator for months banished from your life festivities. Wish me luck finding my Baby of Brightness!

I wish you all a blessed and happy Christmas season.